So the husband is away working, the babes is sleeping and in my attempts to keep up with my blogging I promised myself I would type up a post before I had declared my relaxation time to begin, which was 9pm, that gave me from 8 to 9 to write this up, well it's 8:34 and I got nothing. I have been trying to come up with a clever way to start talking about going to Dr. Generosity in Bloor West Village for brunch...basically I tried 3 different times, typed up an entire post, to just read it back to myself and delete it. I am all stressed about work, the house, money, all that stupid grown up shit that I don't feel ready to deal with yet (in my head I'm still 16 years old...that was a good year...braces off, sweet sixteen, felt sort of okay enough with my body to wear a bikini, hadn't yet decided to give myself that awful haircut that made me look like an immigrant mexican villager that didn't grow out until 3rd year university). So, I'm finding it hard to come up with witty things to say, I just find myself being really bitchy...and more so than usual. Though I guess bitchy can be funny, as long as it's not directed toward you, alright, I'll give it a try, bitchiness and all, but if you own a restaurant in bloor west village please don't take this too personally, it comes with a lot of personal baggage...but take it a little personally.
Pretty much I believe that compared to other trendy neighbourhoods in Toronto, the culinary talent in Bloor West Village leaves much to be desired...okay, that wasn't too bitchy. I had lived in bloor west for at least 3 years, basically having gone to Sharkey's and hating it and then deciding everything else on the street was crap, when I finally gave Dr. Generosity a try for brunch and was pleasantly surprised, and remembered seeing lots of kids...okay before having my own kid, hearing one baby crying in a restaurant made it feel like I was in Chucky Cheese.
Point is, now with baby in tow decided I would go there again....BIG MISTAKE!
The food had not changed, the decor was still the same, the difference was I now see the world through mommy-goggles and have no patience for stupid-idiots (here comes the crankiness). First of all, if I am standing with three other people and I tell the waiter "we need a table for four and..." then I look directly at the baby does that not mean there are actually 5 human beings being seated, one of which is the child in my arms...apparently not, so we got a four person table in the middle of the restaurant. I mentioned to him that we still needed a place for the baby he let me know that I should have told him this at the door he then turned away too quickly to notice me giving him the finger. He got a high chair and placed it in the aisle, which I didn't mind, however the jackass manager seemed to have a problem with this, the same person who when I initially entered the restaurant said no strollers allowed (CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!!), he obviously hates children! So we squeezed two chairs and highchair on one side of a table that is meant for only two people. The baby decided to entertain us by doing that trick where you pull out the table cloth really quickly while leaving all the plates and cutlery on the table in their original places...well...she's not even a year old, she's still practising...the waiter did not GET this and seemed really annoyed when he had to replace everything at our table...I could tell he was annoyed because he huffed a lot every time he bent over as if it was really physically straining him to lean and pick up a fork, and he would stand up between each thing he picked up and then sigh again on his way down, very dramatic, he was doing a really good job delivering this performance, he should get an agent.
We placed our orders, and of course my coffee took forever to arrive, the waiter obviously hated me because my baby is so much cuter than his children...if he has any...or his future children....I just hate him!
I had noticed the restaurant was pretty quiet, and when I looked around people looked very uninterested and bored...and well, I guess the baby picked up on this too, she is so perceptive, and decided to once again try to entertain everyone, this time with her vocal talents, so she starting singing...okay some people (like the stupid waiter and jackass manager) might call it screaming, but obviously they don't have the musical training I do (watching hours of much music daily as a child). Now this wasn't an angry or sad scream, she was smiling and waving her arms up and down, but it was definitely loud. (Okay, to be completely honest I was horrified, but in public I am very loyal to my family and always take their side, I gave her a good talking to at home about appropriate restaurant behaviour to which she replied by belching in my face then pulling off my glasses while smacking herself in the belly...she's a complex woman). By the end of our visit I had to have two cups of coffee cleaned that had spilled over, three replacement forks, and reluctantly apologize (multiple times) to the woman sitting behind us for having her hair pulled...and for some reason I got the feeling that the staff just didn't like us.
Point is, they made me feel like I was inconveniencing them by bringing a baby in during their busy weekend brunch time and so I will hate them forever and you should too! Stupid place and their stupid no stroller policy, there are a lot of eldery people in my condo, I'm going to send them all their next Saturday with their walkers and wheelchairs and see what the Dr. does about that, it will be complete chaos and I will be watching from outside point and laughing, "MhwaaaaHaaaHaaaHa!!!"
...okay, I think I need to go relax a little....